Damned Emotions playing with me again..*sigh*
hopefully it is just because i have been skipping on my meds.. i mean.. i am almost out.. but to get more i need to go get the doctor to fax a prescription to the pharmacy, and then have to pay, and i dont think im covered under insurance anymore, and if i ask parents for it then they will just bitch me out about how its too expensive and then give me the third degree about having to go get a job, and i have been trying, but idk...
i mean thinking about that just makes it worse and it seems that is all i can think about really now, and that shows that my meds are wearing off because they are Anti OCD for depression... (basically lets me not focus on the shit that gets me down) and i kno i should go get some more.. but i dont see the point anymore..
i have been getting back into my routine of sleeping a good 14 hours a day, and im trying to fight it, but it is nicer to be away from the real world for the majority of the day... and when i was sleeping earlier the thing i was wishing was that i had my knife with me... i dunno why but im starting to get back into that rut, and i dont want to because i promised Monique that i would not cut anymore... but right now.. its so damned hard... just a quick release of some endorphins ( [link] wikipedia. org/wiki/Endorphin ) to have that natural anti depressant... (when cut or damaged your body releases this chemical as a way to dull the pain, isnt it fun to kno the chemistry behind being an emo?) and i hate saying that im wanting to cut, because then i feel like one of those cry-baby "wanna-be an Emo cuz its the thing to do" bitches.. they piss me off so badly..
I just dont kno right now...... as i said.. i just want it all to end.... im going to go take some of those allergy pills in a bit.. because they always make me loopy off my ass and like im far away...
and why the fuck is it so damned hott right now? god im about to stip down to my skivvies and just sit here.. this is just pissing me off.. well im getting tired of my bitch-fest...
god i just dont want to move, i dont really want to do anything.. and i keep tellng myself that this shit is all in my head, but i just cant get it out.. damnit... im off to go take those damned pills.. they say take 1 but im going to take 4.. fuck it all...
Miserable
--
-Bella-
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~Kornfritterz
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Damned Emotions playing with me again..
Journal Entry: Wed Jun 4, 2008, 11:11 PM
well i am totally feeling down tonight, and all it seems i can do is just sit around and bitch about it... i dont kno what has me down... well.. no... im not going to lie.. i do kno what has me down.. im just not wanting to say it... i dunno...
*sigh*
hopefully it is just because i have been skipping on my meds.. i mean.. i am almost out.. but to get more i need to go get the doctor to fax a prescription to the pharmacy, and then have to pay, and i dont think im covered under insurance anymore, and if i ask parents for it then they will just bitch me out about how its too expensive and then give me the third degree about having to go get a job, and i have been trying, but idk...
i mean thinking about that just makes it worse and it seems that is all i can think about really now, and that shows that my meds are wearing off because they are Anti OCD for depression... (basically lets me not focus on the shit that gets me down) and i kno i should go get some more.. but i dont see the point anymore..
i have been getting back into my routine of sleeping a good 14 hours a day, and im trying to fight it, but it is nicer to be away from the real world for the majority of the day... and when i was sleeping earlier the thing i was wishing was that i had my knife with me... i dunno why but im starting to get back into that rut, and i dont want to because i promised Monique that i would not cut anymore... but right now.. its so damned hard... just a quick release of some endorphins ( [link] wikipedia. org/wiki/Endorphin ) to have that natural anti depressant... (when cut or damaged your body releases this chemical as a way to dull the pain, isnt it fun to kno the chemistry behind being an emo?) and i hate saying that im wanting to cut, because then i feel like one of those cry-baby "wanna-be an Emo cuz its the thing to do" bitches.. they piss me off so badly..
I just dont kno right now...... as i said.. i just want it all to end.... im going to go take some of those allergy pills in a bit.. because they always make me loopy off my ass and like im far away...
and why the fuck is it so damned hott right now? god im about to stip down to my skivvies and just sit here.. this is just pissing me off.. well im getting tired of my bitch-fest...
god i just dont want to move, i dont really want to do anything.. and i keep tellng myself that this shit is all in my head, but i just cant get it out.. damnit... im off to go take those damned pills.. they say take 1 but im going to take 4.. fuck it all...
6 Comments | Previous Journal Entries
* Mood: Miserable
* Listening to: Whatever the fuck i feel like..
* Reading: my pain unfold.
* Watching: my thoughts explode
* Playing: with my mind
* Eating: havent eaten in a while...
* Drinking: water
Devious Information
*
Email
Soulless.woodsballer@gmail.com
*
AIM
kornfritterz
*
Yahoo
Kornfritterz
* Current Age: 17
* Current Residence: wouldnt you like to kno?
* Interests: Ballroom Dance, Music, Food
* Favourite movie: anything that has Zombies
* Favourite genre of music: Rock or Ska
* Favourite artist: Phillip Singer
* Favourite poet or writer: Orson Scott Card
* Favourite style of art: whatever im in the mood for.
* Operating System: Linux open Suse
* MP3 player of choice: anything that can hold all my music and does not die on me...
* Favourite game: Guild Wars
* Favourite gaming platform: PC
* Favourite cartoon character: Eric Cartman
* Personal Quote: Only in looking up to another may we be let down in their failure to maintain that image.
* Tools of the Trade: Im the clay, ready to be shaped into what i will become.
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~waffles64
D: OMG COME ON
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dunnanananananananana nu nu nu nu nu danananananananan nununununun danananannaaaaa LONG TIME NO TALK D: wazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzup?
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Instead of just wasting it
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Dying is inevitable
You only get one chance
So just live your life to the fullest
Instead of just wasting it
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